Fighting

Nothing about being chronically sick is easy. Being able to do little things usually seem like big things. Little dreams seem like big dreams.

Going a day without needing an appointment or going without pain, and exhaustion would be a amazing. Its been years since that has happened. I pray it will.

I am unable to drive, go to school, have a job. But fighting to get through the day, surviving the day, is a job all on its own.

Everyday seems like a fight. Everything I do, I fight to do it.

I fight everyday. I fight for my heath. I fight to live. I fight for a future.

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Even if I am feeling a little better my symptoms are still debilitating. Being able to sit up for an hour or so without too much pain or exhaustion is considered a better day. Being able to sit outside, or walking into the kitchen to get my food or drink is something I usually  have to push through to do. Even taking a shower, with a shower chair is still hard most of the time.

How did everything become this hard?

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I can’t run away from my illness. To get through this I have to face it head on, and that is what I try to do everyday.

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I don’t know direction I am headed in.

Do I even have a direction?

I know what my goal is, to get better, to live, not just survive. I guess I will start with that.

 

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4 thoughts on “Fighting

  1. “Everyday seems like a fight. Everything I do, I fight to do it.”

    You fight…and you win.

    It’s hard, but you have so many victories here – made sweeter because you don’t take them for granted.

    You’re winning. Keep fighting.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Every day is a new day for a new goal and a new touchdown! God will definitely provide, remember in the stillness of the morning to whisper his name and he will be by your side holding your hand all through the day. All you need to do is have Faith and believe. You have come so far.

    Liked by 1 person

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