Being Chronically ill

One of the most frustrating part of being chronically sick is finding the right doctors who are willing to help. It has taken me years to find doctors who truly tried hard to help me. To find doctors to really listen and try to understand, and people to actually help me. Even though I found a few things to treat some of my illness, I am still sick. There is still a lot of problems to figure out and treat. My illness is still debilitating. l still have to find other doctors to help me.

Going  to new doctor is always hard because you never know how it will go. Why is so hard to find someone to really hear what you are saying? To really understand your illness and believe you? To talk to you, and not down to you.

Here are some frustrating things that happen when seeing a new doctor:

When you have to tell your illness history again…


When they suggest something that you have already tried and it didn’t work:



 When doctors have a terrible bedside manner:


When they act like your symptoms aren’t that bad:


when they try to twist your words around:


when you know your never going to go back:


When they say they don’t know what to do for you:


when they have terrible suggestions:


When nothing good comes out of an appointment:


 Why is it so hard to find some understanding?


Thanks for reading!



Faith is…

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light. – Helen Keller


Seven years

August, 2008 is when I first got sick. Its been seven long years.

Seven years of searching for answers. Seven years of unanswered questions. Seven years of tests, failed treatments, pain, and exhaustion. Seven years of hoping, trying, and waiting for things to get better. Seven years without an official diagnosis. Seven years my illness has gradually gotten worse.


Even though it has been seven years sometimes I feel like not much has changed. I am still looking answers, still having tests done, and still looking for the right people to help me. But I do know that I have changed. I have become stronger, and my illness has taught me so many things, good and bad. I will continue to search, learn, and find ways to feel better.

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Psalms 27:13-14   I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!
Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.