Pieces are scattered, lost, how do I find them?

Where do I look?

Can I get them back.

Can I find my way back, and still move forward?

Where I am in this mess?

I have come far, but I can’t see a clear picture.

So much time feeling lost.

How did so much time pass?

I need to find me somewhere in this mess. How do I begin?

The path is unclear. The Future uncertain.

Trying to rebuild myself from the ground. Picking up the pieces along the way.



Recovery So Far

Over the past six months Recovery has not easy, but it has been worth it.


Since I have been sick I had never been in the recovery stage before. My illness had continued to get worse for years. When I got sick my life gradually changed as I got worse, and I am now slowly starting to build my life back up one step at a time. This is new process for me, I am learning as I continue to go down this road.

Being in recovery has been a huge blessing, but getting well is not easy.

My recovery process so far..

June 2015:

I met my Chiropractor Neurologist in the end of June and started my treatment.


I was having three to five appointments a week. I had all my treatments done laying down. Treatments made me feel exhausted, but I started to see some good results from them. About two weeks into treatment I my brain began feeling less heavy, some pain started getting better, I didn’t have to think about every step. I didn’t feel like my body was in survival mode anymore.  I was able to walk around the house a little more by the end of the month.


I was still having three to four appointments a week. My exhaustion became really intense, but some of my other symptoms were starting to get a little better. The inflammation I had in face was going away. I no longer felt like I needed adjustments everyday. My pain was continuing to get better. I no longer had pain 24/7. By the end of August as my brain continued to get better, the fog started clearing and it almost felt as if I could see world more clearly for the first time in years.


I was having about three appointments a week. My exhaustion started getting a little better, my stomach was also starting to get a little better. The suffocating feeling that my brain used to feel all the time is no longer there. My muscles became quite sore because it was not used to do much other than laying down. My muscle felt fatigued quickly. I was starting to feel more stable. I started to sit up a little more, and I was able to do some of my treatments sitting up in a chair. I was able to gain all the weight back that I had I lost at the beginning of the year. I began to get out of the house a little more at a time. My brain fog I use to have all time was improving a lot. I had a hard figuring out how much I was able to do before it was too much on my body. Since I started feeling better than I used to it was easy for me think I was healthier than I actually was.




I was still having about three appointments a week. I started sitting up more, and my hips, neck, back, legs, and shoulder muscles were really sore and painful. I was noticing that the inflammation I had in my stomach, and joints was getting so much better. I was able to start working on homework, even though it was pretty exhausted at to work on it. I had caught a cold that had caused quite a bit more pain and fatigue, but it did not set the progress that I had already made back. When I had my cold I took a week off treatments and I didn’t feel like I was going backwards for the first time. When my cold was gone I was able to pick back up right where we left off in my treatments.


I started the month having three appointments a week, but the progress felt like it was moving a lot slower than before, so I had treatments more often. On some days homework has been a little easier to work on. I started feeling some of the same symptoms I had before recovery,  but it wasn’t quite as intense. We were able to work through it though, and I haven’t had them since.


I am able sit up quite a bit more during most days. So many symptoms that were explained have disappeared. My appointments are starting to lessen. The days have been up and down and there my body was fighting off a virus. My neck has been hurting a lot, but my back and hips are feeling so much better. I able to starting walking more, and I able to do a little more of my treatments at home. I walked a half mile for the first time in years, and even though it is tiring I am able to recover after I rest! Each time I go for a walk it gets easier.

Recovery has not been perfect, not every day is good. Some days are bad, and some days are really bad, but taking things one step at time has made things a little easier to handle and is not so overwhelming that way. I have goals I set for myself that I am to work towards achieve in 2016.

       December 21st



“Do not confuse my bad days as a sign of weakness. Those are actually the days I’m fighting my hardest.” – Unknown

 Isaiah 41:10’Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Isaiah 40:31 Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.


More Gifs!

Friends gifs!

Having old symptoms show up again:



Finally finding some answers to your illness:



 Trying to stop your illness from getting out of control can be like:





On My Own

“…And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2

Psalm 27:1  “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

Isaiah 9:2 The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined.

I recently found this song. It perfectly describes what I have been feeling recently.

I can’t fight my illness on my own. I was never meant to.