Blessing

There have been times throughout my illness when I wondered if God was listening to my prayers. I wondered if he knew how much I was struggling. How much I needed help from him. So many times, almost all time, I wonder what is God’s purpose for me throughout all of this. There have also been times where I thought that asking for his help would be a sign of weakness. Putting all of my trust in God hasn’t been a easy journey.

Slowly my faith has gotten stronger. I am learning to trust in God’s plan, and his timing even when I don’t understand it. He has made my struggle, my pain, my illness possible for me get through it. He has made it possible for me to be in recovery, and to make as much progress as I have.

I have been blessed with this amazing gift of getting better. I have been given this second chance, and I don’t want to waste it.

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes. ~e.e. cummings

Psalm 18:6 “But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary, my cry to him reached his ears.”

Job 5:9 “He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.”

Psalm 81:6-7 “I removed the burden from their shoulders; their hands were set free from the basket. In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud; I tested you at the waters of Maribah.”

April 27

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Faith through illness

Growing up I always thought I had a strong faith. When I was younger it was easy to feel like I had a strong faith when things in my life are going well. It wasn’t until I had been sick for a few years that I finally realized that I never really knew what it truly meant to put all of trust in God, and put my life completely in his hands. It took me being a my lowest point of pain, and desperation that I was I able to ask God to take complete control of my life.

There have been so many times where I ran from God instead of running to him. When I was sick I there were many different periods of times where I would feel lost, angry, depressed, or confused. I have learned throughout the years that being apart from God is not a freedom its a loss. It only makes the challenges even harder to handle.

After seven years of being sick, I am starting to feel better than I have in years. This is what I have always hoped and prayed for. God is Good. Having faith through the most difficult times has been so important, and it has helped me to be able to move forward with my life.

“These trials have come so that your faith of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:7

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Recovery update

I have been able to walk more and more. My brain is feeling better. It is feeling the best it has for the first time since before I became ill. My muscles are continuing to get stronger, and I am having more energy. This is what I have always hoped for. This progress is amazing!

April 7th

I was able to go on multiple walks throughout the day. Its the most I have walked in one than I have in a few years.DMRE4654

My Illness and Treatment

I have written about being in recovery, but I have never gone into much detail about what I found out, and what I have done to treat my illness.

Going to a chiropractic neurologist changed my life completely. Before I met him my illness was a extremely debilitating, the pain, and exhaustion were extreme. There was no escape from my illness. I could hardly sit up, my muscles hurt all the time. The pain was always there. My brain felt horrible, it was so heavy it felt liked a bowling bowl, every step I took felt awful. The list of symptoms I had seemed endless. I have been sick for seven years, but those symptoms had been that extreme for over two and half years. I was desperate for some relief.

They symptoms I needed help with the most were undiagnosed. I have had always had a hard time explaining the way my brain felt, other than it feeling heavy, foggy, and horrible. At first appointment with a balance test, and a gaze assessment we were able to find out so much about what was going on.

I will try to explain this the best I can. Here it goes…

The Vestibular System – The vestibular system includes the parts of the inner ear and brain that help control balance and eye movements. If the system is damaged by disease, aging, or injury, vestibular disorders can result.

Your brain is supposed to know where you are in space, and to keep you upright. It is supposed to automatic that your brain is aware of your surroundings.  When things go wrong with your vestibular system it create so many problems.

The vestibular system detects motion of the head in space and in turn generates reflexes that are crucial for our daily activities, such as stabilizing the visual axis (gaze) and maintaining head and body posture.

My vestibular system was broken. Every time I turned my head my brain was receiving the wrong messages. My brain didn’t know where I was in space. My brain would think that I was falling forward, and to stop me from falling my muscles would tense up really bad. My muscles were even tense when I was laying down. This also caused most of my other symptoms I was having. It was the reason for so much of my chronic pain.

Click here for more information about the human balance system, and here for more information about the symptoms of a vestibular disorder.

I also found out that I had Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (or BPPV).  My brain was dealing with vertigo 24/7. Even if I didn’t feel dizzy at times it was always there. I would get exhausted really quickly, and I have to to lay down. My brain adapted to the situation the best that it could. My brain felt the safest laying down, so it didn’t want me to get up and do much, or even sit up.

Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (or BPPV) is the most common cause of vertigo, a false sensation of spinning.

Click here for more information about BPPV.

My ability to hold my gaze was also broken. My eyes couldn’t even hold on a non moving target. This is where so much of my energy was being used.

When he told me what was going it started to make sense of how I was feeling. I could never describe what I feeling, and I never knew what going on with it. It was a good feeling to have someone explain to me what was going on, even without me providing a clear description of what was happening. Not having a diagnosis I always wondered

These doctors and their treatments need to be talked about more. Their treatments are amazing, and they can help so many people. I think what amazed me the most about their treatments is how pain less they are, and how little movement really needed to be done for me to feel better.

 Click here for information on Chiropractic Neurologists.

One of the first treatments started out with simple movements of my arms, and legs. I also did a lot of exercises to help BPPV (similar to the one below on the right). Over the next few weeks of this I could tell a big difference, standing, and walking were already becoming easier. My brain was getting better little by little. I also did a lot of eye exercises to help my gaze, and over time also helped me have more energy. I think what amazed me the most about their treatments is how pain less they are, and how little movement really needed to be done to help me to feel better.

I actually saw real progress.

BPPV Figure 2a.

 

Here is a little bit about what Chiropractic neurologists do:

These doctors and their treatments need to be talked about more. Their treatments are amazing, and they can help so many people.

Everything about my experiences with my doctor and treatment is different from anything treatment I have tried before. I actually see real progress, and improvement.

 Click Here to find a Chiropractic neurologist near you.

You can Contact me at heidijones095@yahoo.com or leave a comment here. If you think this could help you or someone you know in any way please, feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

In all the years I have been sick I am now on path I have never been on before. I am on a path of healing and recovery. Before I went to a chiropractic neurologist I was only surviving, now I am beginning to live.

Finally Finished!

I am officially done with my all of my high school credits! I am also excited because now I able to start planning a vacation to help celebrate getting my diploma, and most of all getting better! I haven’t been on a vacation in five years because of my illness. It feels good to finally be done with chapter in my life and now I can continue to move forward.

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Moving Forward

I know I haven’t been on here much lately. I have been working really hard the past few months to finish up all my high school credits. I am hoping I can get everything finished up by next week. I am ready to move on past this. This happened to be another thing in my life that my illness has gotten in the way of for so long. Now I am ready to move forward, and continue with my recovery.

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Trying to keep up

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Throughout the whole time I have been sick, I have always felt like I am falling behind, and just trying to catch up. It always has been so difficult just trying to get by, just trying to keep up. As my illness continued to get worse I just tried to keep going, just surviving, that was it. Now, after all this time I am learning live my life at my own pace, and start to build my life where I will be able thrive.

 

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Aware

Its been a little over eight months since I have started on my journey of recovery, and I have changed so much. I don’t even feel like the same person. As I have been getting better, I have been more aware of some things, even small things I never really payed much attention to before. Things such as, the beauty of a sunset, a flower, a sunny day, a full moon, are things I saw, but I never noticed them the way I do now. I never really thought about those things, until now. I am looking at them with so much clarity than I ever have.

Colossians 1:16,17 – For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:  And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

Psalm 24:1-2 – The earth is the LORD’s and all that is in it, the world, and those who live in it; for God has founded it on the seas, and established it on the rivers.

February 24th

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March 1st

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March 2nd

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March 3rd

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New contact information: heidijones095@yahoo.com

you can also follow me on instagram heidijones9

Road to Recovery

The road to recovery will not always be easy, but I will take it one day at a time, focusing on the moments I’ve dreamed about for so long. Amanda Linkhout

I have been continuing to make strides in my recovery. I am still seeing step by step improvements. This is the type of improvement I have always wanted to see.

Today I was able to do something I haven’t been able to do in a few years. I walked a mile. It was beautiful outside today, and I’m glad I got to enjoy it.

Right now, I am going to keep working on strengthening my muscles in my neck and back.

 One step at a time I am going to continue to make more improvements, and work towards getting better.

February 19th

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Climbing

 

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Things have changed.

Things are still changing.

One step at a time.

I feel like a different person.

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I’m Climbing up the from the bottom, and it feels amazing.

I am finally climbing up instead of falling back down.

This is the change I have always been looking for.

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