JESUS CALLING September 8

This is an amazing reminder to trust the Lord. I cant handle my illness on my own.

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Seven years

August, 2008 is when I first got sick. Its been seven long years.

Seven years of searching for answers. Seven years of unanswered questions. Seven years of tests, failed treatments, pain, and exhaustion. Seven years of hoping, trying, and waiting for things to get better. Seven years without an official diagnosis. Seven years my illness has gradually gotten worse.

aaaaaaa

Even though it has been seven years sometimes I feel like not much has changed. I am still looking answers, still having tests done, and still looking for the right people to help me. But I do know that I have changed. I have become stronger, and my illness has taught me so many things, good and bad. I will continue to search, learn, and find ways to feel better.

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Psalms 27:13-14   I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!
Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Keep trying

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12

Pain, sick, exhaustion, appointments kinda sums everything up.

I have so many symptoms I can’t keep track of them all.

I have spent so long trying to gain momentum, and I am still trying. This whole journey is frustrating. Everyday my strength is tested.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do other than just keep going, somehow.

1 Thes 3:3 so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. You know that we were destined for them.

2 Tim 1:8 Accept your share of the hardship that faithfulness to the gospel entails in the strength that God gives you.

Not as bad!

The past few days I have had a few small improvements. My oxygen and sugar levels have been more stable. I am not feeling well, but for the time being my body seems to be out of crisis. My brain fog is a little better sometimes. Pretty much everything else is same. I am still sticking with my new Plan.

I still have so many problems, and symptoms that we have to figure out how to take of. I guess I will just take everything day by day and hope for the best.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Strong

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So true. My illness has given me the tools to become the person I needed to be.

I have learned to give God control and let him be my strength.

Romans 5:4 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, wea have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And web boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but wec also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Going in Circles

 Facing challenges everyday is hard to deal with. Being sick everyday definitely takes a toll mentally, emotionally, and of course physically. Having a lot of symptoms that are debilitating and unpredictable are hard to handle every single day. Sometimes its hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this is my current reality at nineteen years old. I can never let my gaurd down with my symptoms, not even for a few hours there to severe to ignore.
Where do I go from here?
How do I move forward when it feels like I’m always going in circles. Nothing about this journey has been easy, but this feels so out of control. I have to take one day at a time, but I want more than this. Now I have to figure out how to get there.

 

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:34

Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Giving God Control

image“Let go of your concerns! Then you will know that I am God. I rule the nations. I rule the earth.” Psalm 46:10

‘Ah, Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You. Jeremiah 32:17

The more my health has gone down hill, the less control I have. It is out of my control. The struggles I face everyday can be overwhelming and frustrating. It can feel like a never ending nightmare.

Even though I need God I sometimes struggle with letting all my worries go and letting God take over. I have to learn to let go, and let God be in control. I need to move forward with my relationship with God. Giving God control will give me the strength to move forward to the next step in my life, whatever that maybe. Trusting God is how I am going to get through this and be a stronger person.

Even though my problems seem too big for me, they aren’t big for God. There will never be a problem too big for God. I know that with God nothing is impossible. God knows what I am going through and I now I need to follow his lead.

imageTrust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your understanding; in all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direst your paths. Proverbs 3:5

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

You say, “It’s impossible.” God says, “All things are possible.” (Luke 18:27)

You say, “I’m too tired.” God says, “I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

You say, “I can’t go on.” God says, “My grace is sufficient.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

You say, “I can’t do it.” God says, “You can do all things.” (Philippians 4:13)

You say, “I can’t manage.” God says, “I will meet all your needs.” (Philippians 4:19)

You say, “I’m afraid.” God says, “I have not given you a spirit of fear.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

You say, “I’m lonely.” God says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

You say, “I am worried.” God says, “Cast all your cares on me.” (1 Peter 5:7).

This song says it all!

   

James 1:12

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12).