Blessing

There have been times throughout my illness when I wondered if God was listening to my prayers. I wondered if he knew how much I was struggling. How much I needed help from him. So many times, almost all time, I wonder what is God’s purpose for me throughout all of this. There have also been times where I thought that asking for his help would be a sign of weakness. Putting all of my trust in God hasn’t been a easy journey.

Slowly my faith has gotten stronger. I am learning to trust in God’s plan, and his timing even when I don’t understand it. He has made my struggle, my pain, my illness possible for me get through it. He has made it possible for me to be in recovery, and to make as much progress as I have.

I have been blessed with this amazing gift of getting better. I have been given this second chance, and I don’t want to waste it.

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes. ~e.e. cummings

Psalm 18:6 “But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary, my cry to him reached his ears.”

Job 5:9 “He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.”

Psalm 81:6-7 “I removed the burden from their shoulders; their hands were set free from the basket. In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud; I tested you at the waters of Maribah.”

April 27

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Moving Forward

I know I haven’t been on here much lately. I have been working really hard the past few months to finish up all my high school credits. I am hoping I can get everything finished up by next week. I am ready to move on past this. This happened to be another thing in my life that my illness has gotten in the way of for so long. Now I am ready to move forward, and continue with my recovery.

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This Imperfect Life

 

This Life is messy, unpredictable, and imperfect. Life will never be perfect. Healthy or Sick, but life doesn’t have to be perfect to have meaning. Life can be simple, and it can still be great.

Its easy to think back on hard times and wonder if you could have changed things or somehow avoided some of the struggle or the pain.  I felt anger, depressed, and confused at times when I have thought about it.  I am still learning from those experiences. One thing all of this has taught me is to notice the joy in the small things I used to take for granted.  I have also learned that whether I am healthy or sick life is imperfect.  There will be always be good days and bad.

There will be hardships, and challenges that is inevitable.

When I recover I will have the courage to let go of the past. – unknown

I want to move forward. I want the future to be great. I want to be healthy.

I want to learn to live in moment. I want to feel free of the past.

There will always be goals to set. To work towards. There are always things to learn, and reasons to grow.

“I like cancelled plans. And empty bookstores. I like rainy days and thunderstorms. And quiet coffee shops. I like messy beds and over-worn pajamas. Most of all, I like the small joys that a simple life brings.” – Unknownbe53c5443d5940cd09437f6778ed75cb

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New dream

“All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” ~Michael John Bobak

“You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~C.S. Lewis

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt