Some more quotes
“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”
“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go.”
“When you get to your wits end, you will find, God lives there. ~Author Unknown”
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ Eleanor Roosevelt
For the past few years a day hasn’t gone by without some type of pain and exhaustion. I have never been in the “recovery” process. I have never been able to gain momentum. My illness has only gotten worse. For the past two and half years my symptoms has been severe everyday, and we have never been able to get a handle on pretty much anything.
I have my “normal” problems that I live with, but Every time my body has a crisis episode, I become severely ill, and my “normal” chronic level becomes worse. Every single time. It never goes back to where was. For the past two and years the “episodes” become more severe and more frequent.
Exactly two years ago my illness became a lot worse. I had one of the worst episodes I have ever had.
At the time I had swelling in my brain, along with a lot of other problems, and that changed the severity of my illness completely. The pain, and pressure in my head was unlike anything I had ever felt before. My mind and body went in survival mode. I didn’t think about anything accept the next step, the next minute. Eventually the swelling did go down, but my “normal” chronic level changed. My brain has never been same, the chemistry changed, everything became worse. Ever since then I felt some type of pain or fatigue almost every waking moment.
The problems didn’t end there, the past year and half I have had hundreds of appointments. I have tried hundreds of different supplements. I have spent hundreds of hours detoxing, working out scar tissue, fascia, adhesions, and a lot of other work. I had to have the ligaments, and tissue of my jaw fixed through other alternative treatments. The list continues to go on.
I try to take it one day at a time. One step at a time.
Even though my illness changed for the worse, I changed for the better. My perspective on life changed. The experienced changed me. It gave me strength.
It brought me closer to God. It has taught me how to be patient, and to trust God no matter what.
This continues to be a challenge I face everyday, but I guess its true what they say….When its dark enough, you can see the stars. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing worth having comes without a fight, got to kick the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight-Bruce Cockburn
‘Ah, Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You. Jeremiah 32:17
The more my health has gone down hill, the less control I have. It is out of my control. The struggles I face everyday can be overwhelming and frustrating. It can feel like a never ending nightmare.
Even though I need God I sometimes struggle with letting all my worries go and letting God take over. I have to learn to let go, and let God be in control. I need to move forward with my relationship with God. Giving God control will give me the strength to move forward to the next step in my life, whatever that maybe. Trusting God is how I am going to get through this and be a stronger person.
Even though my problems seem too big for me, they aren’t big for God. There will never be a problem too big for God. I know that with God nothing is impossible. God knows what I am going through and I now I need to follow his lead.
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22
Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
You say, “It’s impossible.” God says, “All things are possible.” (Luke 18:27)
You say, “I’m too tired.” God says, “I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
You say, “I can’t go on.” God says, “My grace is sufficient.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
You say, “I can’t do it.” God says, “You can do all things.” (Philippians 4:13)
You say, “I can’t manage.” God says, “I will meet all your needs.” (Philippians 4:19)
You say, “I’m afraid.” God says, “I have not given you a spirit of fear.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
You say, “I’m lonely.” God says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
You say, “I am worried.” God says, “Cast all your cares on me.” (1 Peter 5:7).
This song says it all!
This past weekend my brain has been feeling heavy and exhausted. I have still been working on detoxing toxins. Even though I have feeling pretty sick some of my muscle pain and tightness hasn’t been as bad. This is really good step for me. I am hoping that all this hard work continues to pay off and I can continue to see some improvement.