Being sick for so long a lot of day’s tend to just run together. When I am having really bad all I do is go through motions, just to get through it. I don’t want to live like that any more. I am more than ready to feel better of course, and I will do my best to find a way through this. I am ready to move forward.
Every day I face challenges within my own body. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes the pain can be excruciating, and the fatigue is extremely overwhelming. On most days the smallest tasks can be very difficult. I don’t feel refreshed when I wake up in the mornings, and most of the time I need to lie back down immediately when I get up. My brain feels very heavy and unbalanced. It can be hard to process information, and at times it is even hard to hard to have conversations.
For a long time It feels like I just do what I need just to help get me through the days. When we ask more questions or do more tests it feels like we are mostly just getting more questions than answers about my illness.
I don’t know what my future looks like. I am not even sure what tomorrow what tomorrow is going to be like. I hope we can find ways to slow the down the progression of my condition. I don’t feel anxious about the future because I have learned to rely on God. I feel frustrated, confused, and lost at times but I also feel calm, and I am ready for the next step in my chronic illness journey! I am thankful I have people that are doing there best to help me find relief and answers to my illness!