“Hope is not optimism. Hope is a dog fight for serious people determined to make it in a difficult world. Hope is not cute or whimsical, wishful thinking. It is a resolution to trust in the promises of God even when everything around looks bleak. Hope is for grown-ups.” – Lee Younger
Through this illness, struggle, and pain ,and through this fight I have this hope.
This hope of being able to find true happiness beyond this struggle.
This hope of being able to be stronger from all of this.
This hope of being able to get better, to fully recover.
This hope of being able to try new things and not be afraid.
This hope of being able to truly live not just survive.
This hope of being able to find myself in my struggle.
This hope of being able to reach my goals for the future.
Hope, Faith, Goals, Dreams. I want to make these things the focus of my life moving forward.
The past few days I have had a few small improvements. My oxygen and sugar levels have been more stable. I am not feeling well, but for the time being my body seems to be out of crisis. My brain fog is a little better sometimes. Pretty much everything else is same. I am still sticking with my new Plan.
I still have so many problems, and symptoms that we have to figure out how to take of. I guess I will just take everything day by day and hope for the best.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
I know I haven’t updated much lately. I have been feeling pretty awful the past few weeks. I have had this post in my drafts for two weeks, and even writing has been hard for me. Sorry if this post has a lot of errors!
These past few weeks I have been starting to feel even worse than usual. I have been feeling weaker, extremely exhausted, every little thing is harder than usual. I having been having to sleep more during the day. My brain has been feeling more exhausted and heavy than usual. I have been having a hard time thinking, reading, writing, and even having a conversation sometimes. I have lost some weight, and overall my body has been very unstable. I have also noticed that when I sit in the outside in the sun, even for just a few minutes my oxygen drops really low.
I got my results of my neurotransmitter test back, and there worse than they have ever been. None of them were in normal range, and they were all severe. I am barely making any epinephrine. Most of them changed drastically from the last time I tested them back in February. So many of my metabolic pathways are not working. My body is having an extremely difficult time processing just about everything. Lately my oxygen and sugar have been very unstable even when I am just sitting or laying down.
Something has to change soon. Lately my doctors have come with a plan to try to force and drive nutrition to help my oxygen, sugar, and for my DNA. In the past we haven’t been able to push my body because it has made me feel worse, but I have no choice now. I have to try something to open up pathways, to live. To have a better quality of life.
I am ready to live Not just survive.
I am very grateful I have doctors who take so much time to help me.
I would appreciate all your continued support and prayers. I have still have a tough road ahead.
Luke 1:37 – For with God nothing shall be impossible.
Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in overwelming obstacles – Christopher Reeve