Good and Bad

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This week has been filled with few changes. Some good, and some really bad.

At the beginning of the week my cranials were a bit more stable, and and my neck pain was a little less than normal. My cerebral spinal fluid was running better. I still have to go to appointments and treatments, but it is definitely good change. I was also fortunate enough to be able to get a laser I can keep at my house, and that has helped with some of the pain.

Even though my pain has been a little better I have been feeling more weak and exhausted than usual. I have not been feeling rested at all. My brain is still extremely heavy and tired. My lymphatic system runs slower than usual. My legs are very heavy, weak, and exhausted. I am too exhausted to sit up for no more than a few minutes.

The longer my exhaustion goes on like this the more unstable my cranials, brain, and the rest of my body starts to become. Everything functions even slower than normal.

I guess for I have to focus on one problem at a time. I’m hoping I will start to see more good changes soon.

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Strong

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So true. My illness has given me the tools to become the person I needed to be.

I have learned to give God control and let him be my strength.

Romans 5:4 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, wea have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And web boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but wec also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Fighting

Nothing about being chronically sick is easy. Being able to do little things usually seem like big things. Little dreams seem like big dreams.

Going a day without needing an appointment or going without pain, and exhaustion would be a amazing. Its been years since that has happened. I pray it will.

I am unable to drive, go to school, have a job. But fighting to get through the day, surviving the day, is a job all on its own.

Everyday seems like a fight. Everything I do, I fight to do it.

I fight everyday. I fight for my heath. I fight to live. I fight for a future.

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Even if I am feeling a little better my symptoms are still debilitating. Being able to sit up for an hour or so without too much pain or exhaustion is considered a better day. Being able to sit outside, or walking into the kitchen to get my food or drink is something I usually  have to push through to do. Even taking a shower, with a shower chair is still hard most of the time.

How did everything become this hard?

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I can’t run away from my illness. To get through this I have to face it head on, and that is what I try to do everyday.

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I don’t know direction I am headed in.

Do I even have a direction?

I know what my goal is, to get better, to live, not just survive. I guess I will start with that.

 

New Week!

This last has been really rough. I’m glad it’s over!

I spent most of the week detoxing toxins, heavy metals, yeast, and fungus. I should be pro by now!

Dealing with all of these leaves me feeling weak and exhausted. My brain chemistry feels more unbalanced than usual. My brain fog is worse than usual. My speech comes out sluggish and slurred sometimes, and I have been paler than usual and my eyes are sunken in more. I have really hard time concentrating, processing and remembering information,  and even having a normal conversation. Thankfully by the end the week my mind became a little more clear, and most of those symptoms have subsided some.

I also had inflammation in my brain and spine. This causes a lot of problems with my cebral spinal fluid which is very painful, and creates even more debiltaing symptoms.

By using a combination of different treatments, such as Laser therapy, adjustments, micro current, footbaths, and nutrition, I was able to get the some of the pain under control. I am a little more stable now and hope that treatments continue to help.