When its dark enough…

For the past few years a day hasn’t gone by without some type of pain and exhaustion. I have never been in the “recovery” process. I have never been able to gain momentum. My illness has only gotten worse. For the past two and half years my symptoms has been severe everyday, and we have never been able to get a handle on pretty much anything.

I have my “normal” problems that I live with, but Every time my body has a crisis episode, I become severely ill, and my “normal” chronic level becomes worse. Every single time. It never goes back to where was. For the past two and years the “episodes” become more severe and more frequent.

Exactly two years ago my illness became a lot worse. I had one of the worst episodes I have ever had.

At the time I had swelling in my brain, along with a lot of other problems, and that changed the severity of my illness completely. The pain, and pressure in my head was unlike anything I had ever felt before. My mind and body went in survival mode. I didn’t think about anything accept the next step, the next minute. Eventually the swelling did go down, but my “normal” chronic level changed. My brain has never been same, the chemistry changed, everything became worse. Ever since then I felt some type of pain or fatigue almost every waking moment.

The problems didn’t end there, the past year and half I have had hundreds of appointments. I have tried hundreds of different supplements. I have spent hundreds of hours detoxing, working out scar tissue, fascia, adhesions, and a lot of other work. I had to have the ligaments, and tissue of my jaw fixed through other alternative treatments. The list continues to go on.

I try to take it one day at a time. One step at a time.

Even though my illness changed for the worse, I changed for the better. My perspective on life changed. The experienced changed me. It gave me strength.

It brought me closer to God. It has taught me how to be patient, and to trust God no matter what.

This continues to be a challenge I face everyday, but I guess its true what they say….When its dark enough, you can see the stars. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing worth having comes without a fight, got to kick the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight-Bruce Cockburn

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Hard Work

This week started out pretty rough. I had been feeling extremely weak and exhausted, and I had a lot of toxins in my body. I had two appointments a day with different doctors detoxing and having cranial adjustments. This week I put in what would usually be a couple weeks of work in a couple days and it paid off. Having both treatments done I am feeling a little bit stronger, and body is a little bit more stable than the beginning of week. It is a relief to see my body reacting to the treatments in a positive way. I hoping I can continue to see good results next week!

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Perseverance

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The first three years I was sick I tried to live the most normal life as possible. I went to school, played soccer, I would hang out with my friends on regular basis, and I would just try to schedule my doctor appointments around my schedule. I would have adjustments, see specialists, have differents tests done, try a lot of different type of treatments, and get IV nutrition. As time went on I didn’t get any long term relief, and my body continued to get to worse over time. As it became harder to live a normal life I had to put more time and effort in to getting better and becoming healthier.

Three years ago my health was really poor and I needed treatments regulary. I was no longer able to exercise or go to school so I had to focus on my health. My body was only functioning at about 25 percent. Getting healthy was going to be a long and hard process. We had to begin healing my stomach and intestines. As time went on a few things were slowly  getting better, but a lot of my symptoms continued to get worse. I got more frequent infections, and more inflammation throughout my body. As my illness became more debilitating, I needed daily treatments just to get through the day, I still do. I am glad I have doctors willing and caring to help me, but I wish I didnt have to rely on them so much. I continue to work hard at becoming healthy because the hard work has to pay off sometime, right?

On February 12, I started a on a new mitochondria supplement that I will hopefully see long term results. I still feel like I don’t know a lot about my illness. I learn as I go. I am ready for the step.